Like a returning fungal infection, we’re back! For a one-off episode! Get out your antibac wipes, and douse yourself in Chinese ass news, flat earth football clubs, Gigi Buffon, and punchy referees. Also, do cover up both your testicles, and don’t give 110%.
For the last time, Joe and Dave are here to answer the questions that really matter. And what that means is that we have relied on fielding questions from listeners to provide content. Lazy. Bye now.
The final episode of Round The Back … or is it? (Apart from the bonus episode, which will be the last one. Or will it?) Probably.
This week Dave and Joe discuss German bondage boats and Dutch World Cup hermits. News on Gary Neville’s nephew comes in, as well as World Cup alliterative all stars adding additional amazement. Also, science!
This week Dave and Joe host special guests Jonny Evans of Leicester City and Mat Jones of Epsom College 5’s. They discuss: pony fetish showjumping, projectile hotdog haematomas, and a sexy Russian burger scandal.
This week is a World Cup special!! Dave and Joe discuss how not to use an aubergine to heal constipation and Usain Bolt is actually a bit shit (at football). Meanwhile Joe would love Alan Shearer (the pundit) on his head, and Dave will fact you up.
This week Dave is back and Joe is human. We learn that terrible farts on a plane will cause a brawl, people who are demonised are not, and drinking Red Bull is worse than being a racist.
This week Dave and Joe tackle the deep philosophical reasons behind strangers pooing outside your garage, should there be a height limit for swingers, and: are water pistols the answer to the horrific global pandemic of seagulls stealing chips/fries? Find out in this weeks episode.
This week Dave and Joe are joined by Marathon-Man Gav! They discuss Richard temporarily dying and looking up at his mothers clam, tattooing Kevin on your arm has its consequences, and FINALLY Phil Neville gets one up on his bother Gary.
This week Dave and Joe discuss the noisy and smelly Pagan rituals of Bearheart, how you can live on a diet of just Big Macs, and Gennaro Gattuso used to eat live molluscs and analids (as did Sean Dyche). Also, Jonny Evans!
This week Joe and Dave subvert their normal format (golly gosh). They learn: monkeys do not have copyright infringement rights, there is a wall at the edge of the flat earth, or are their ‘bums oot the windae’?
This week Dave and Joe find out that Badgers hate Scottish castles, university should make you cry and fajita crime doesn’t pay. Also, we discuss the upcoming BonerFest 2018.
This week Dave and Joe ask: can painkillers make you gay? Can one exercise expertise in exorcism? And is Dusan Tadic an anus addict? Find out in this weeks episode.
This week Joe and Dave gain insight upon the parting of ways between Alan Pardew and West Bromwich Albion, discover that God may use Baba’s penis to move a car, and Gigi Buffon loves crisps.
This week Dave and Joe are joined by Henry the Keyboard Warrior, and together they thusly discuss: the sinister story of the sausage suitcase stormed by savage salivating seagulls, fake news that will make you clammy, and post football porn academy.
This week Dave and Joe discuss Mike the Chicken and ‘Mad Mike’ the non-scientist, Greek guns and drugs in football, and Dave makes a bold/ridiculous prediction for the World Cup in Russia.
This week Joe and Dave are joined by No.1 Fan Dan to discuss things like: how to prove you are alive, what is the rudest number plate you can’t buy, and does the UFO convention have a janitor? Also Joe quizzes over us.
This week Joe and Dave discuss the validity of a self declared cyborg, where not to find penises in Iceland, and we ask: do seagulls have long memories and hold vendettas.
This week Joe and Dave do a Bond medley, Glenn Tamplin does Shakespeare, Japan does it straight from the nipple and Wanyama does lent.
This week Joseph and David discover that Google is murdering/manslaughtering magic, South Korean men love a bit o’ rouge, and as Victor Wanyama says – strangling with a dead leg = not a good day.
This week Joe and Dave discuss the appropriateness of Chinese funeral strippers, dildo dog toys, and Armenian Eddy’s time travel. Plus, porno Pennant, Costa Rica, and wizards.
Special 50th Episode! This week Dave and Joe are joined by some friends of the show, who discover that Iceland loves penises and puffins, and Mad Mike is still quite mad. Also no.1 fan Dan quizzes all over us.
This week Dave and Joe discuss how to get banned from every farm in the country, Russian locusts are trying to cause a global scandal and if you ever find yourself perhaps imprisoned in Peru, avoid the chilli sauce. Oh, and it’s a transfer special.
Are camel’s beautiful? Is there a roof ajar on Mars? Did Smithies drink piss? Is Boris Johnson related to a syphillitic mummified corpse? All this and more discussed in this episode.
This week Dave and Joe discuss the merits of being married to a spirit, how to prevent human fowling, and finally discover how Sean Dyche got his beautiful gravelly voice.
This week Dave and Joe discuss Rubber Jonny and his latex business, if you smear shit on an airplane it may be diverted to Alaska… also Usain Bolt may sign for Man Utd via Borussia Dortmund. Sure.
This week Severe Joe and His Audience do Michael Owen, Peadar posts present to Preston’s prize raffle, P.s all enquiries for Sugartits Ltd. please post to Bell End off Turkey Cock Lane.
This is the last episode of 2017, featuring: bastard of the year, Harry Kane of the year, not in my day of the year, World Cup of the year (2018), conspiracy of the year… podcast of the year?
Merry Christmas! This week we learn that Chris Packham is the authority on gull culls (the culling of gulls) and dinosaurs. Also, Jesus might not be who we thought he was (allegedly). Also featuring Father Krokus Christmas and Zanka Claus.
This week, Dave and Joe discuss Teenage Poo-Gate Ginger Squirtles, woman cheats on chandelier with … another chandelier, and who is Colin Wanker?
This week Joe, Dave and no.1 fan Dan discuss why Canadians hate Santa Claus but believe in aliens, Jonny Evans is on the phone to chat football (mainly) and… Alan Pardew with some warped anal.
The night is red, the day is blue, do you need a 1, or do you need a 2? Round The Back is 40, and still very naughty, Joe is very tall, Dave is a bit of a shorty. (5’8″ – average.)
This week Dave and Joe discuss the plausibility of a genius Russian Martian boy, and discover that Gattuso was the shit to Pirlo’s Nutella. Also, The Dildo Brothers return with Slaven’s sack.
This week Dave and Joe discover that this fine country is being invaded by foreign ladybirds riddled with sexual diseases, goalkeepers do need to wee, and if you lacerate your penis you/it will require stitches.
Hawaiian Spam trifles, urinating at fans will get you banned, edible Eddie Howe and sexy Sean Dyche, and our soon to be award winning sitcom ‘Sullivan and Gold: The Dildo Brothers’.
Polar Bears murdering Walrusses, commentators quitting, Jesus Christ! Fabio Rochemback’s blockbuster long-shot, Tim Cahill’s aviation celebration, Morrissey, and the BBC. Also: David, Paul, Steve, John, Andy, Mark, Chris, Kevin, Michael, Lee.
This week No.1 Fan Dan is back with a quiz (but he only had a sandwich for dinner), we bring a “detailed” report from the World Cup qualifiers which includes a phone call from Jonny Evans, and Alex Cockslave Chambermaid.
This week Dave continues his obsession with sex robots, Joe discusses surprisingly stupid signs of silly streets, and they try to work out how many red cards it takes for a football match to become ‘officially’ mental.
This week Dave and Joe discuss fizzy milk and sex robots (not together!), a couple of examples of how modern football is rubbish and learn that Clint ‘Deuce’ Dempsey is a terrible rapper. Also, the Dildo Brothers return!
This week Dave and Joe discuss nutty Russians and nazi slippers, a Hollywood premier league round up, and a very quick re-cap of the Milk/Coca-Cola/Worthington Cup.
This week Dave and Joe discuss more Chinese Ass News, No. 1 Fan Dan receives more stick from another third party about his seagull scandal, and a deliciously dirty debut from the Dildo Brothers. Oh, and some Football stuff.
This week Dave and Joe discuss out of control rampaging Scottish naked pensioners, why you should be careful where you place your glassware (or arse-ware), and find out if indeed Dele Alli was fingering Kyle Walker.
This week Joe and Caretaker Dan (formerly No.1 fan) discuss the end of the window of transferable opportunity, Joe makes a prediction of the signing of the season, and Jonny Evans returns to East Bromwich Albion from Leicestershire City.
This week Dave and Joe find out that if a burglar takes a shit in your toilet he will be caught (brown handed), local rap sensation ‘Flava’ lays down his PL ting and Wayne Rooney re-signs for England… no, resigns from England.
This week Joe surprises Dave with a very special little gift (which is a very small part), and find out if Everton are Gylfi of paying over the odds for Sigurdarssarssonson of Swansonsea. Son. And, Jonny Evans turns up pissed in Manchester with Bez.
This week Dave and Joe discuss Totti’s space adventure, how French Bears are arseholes and that Antonio Cassano is retired (or is he??) Booty, tit, booby, hooter, Chris Waddle. Is that funny?
Did aliens crucify Jesus? (No) Do football curses exist? (No) Is the medium of mineral water exciting? (No) Is Michael Phelps faster than a Great White shark? (No) Is Kenedy a racist? (Possibly).
This week Dave, Joe and No.1 Dan find out that bells can be rung, Rooney does all the admin, Evertanas are in pyjamas, what do you where in bed Dan? Naked on the bottom, and a t-shirt in bed with no pants is weird.
Joe and Dave discuss Eastern Russia’s frozen Horse shit and what can be done with it, and reveal why you won’t see vampires down at Selhurst Park, and Joe upsets Dave by saying John Terry has moved to a “bigger club”. Now, get your shoes on we’re off to a Wetherspoons.
This week Dave and Joe reveal that fidget spinners are EVIL, resident PI Arjan De Zeeuw investigates why FIFA are trying different curry flavours (did I hear that right?) and report that ze Germans have penalised England via a penalty shootout in the penultimate round of the tournament. Pah.
This week the insufferable heat has got to the insufferable Dave and Joe, causing them to suffer, causing the quality of this episode to suffer. Is it a croissant? Is it a snail? Is it a sausage wrapped in bacon? Oh no, it’s an alien! (Hold on, no, it is a croissant).
To donate for the NW Electrical Charity Match please follow this link: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/neil-wadsworth2
Following on from last week, we discuss some other inanimate objects that one could copulate with, reveal that Chinese poems could end your career and discover that football mascots could be part of a secretive guild.
Can you legally marry a building, we ask? Also, a brand new feature on football transfers (with theme tune), and Joey Barton treats us to a titbit from his autobiography learning us that it wasn’t all his fault all of the time.
This week Dave and Joe discuss the possibility of tattooing a replacement penis, discover that Roger Moore would happily tackle eight pussies (or even nine) and … John Terry. Yep.
This week Dave and Joe find out why some referees ‘knead’ to make some extra ‘dough’, give an in depth review to the 2016/17 season, and explain why divers will be punished and possibly humiliated. WARNING! This episode may contain obscene puns.
This week Dave and Joe are pleased to announce that Jesus is actually back (playing football), seagulls may now be eating humans, and that betting is more punishable than Kung Fu attacks.
This week Dave and Joe discover what Chris Waddle was doing in a sausage factory, find out seagulls have jizz, and learn that the Premier League is under siege from the Avians.
This week Joe and Dave would like to confirm that Charlie Dimmock is not “the chunky Groundforce guy”, and discuss possible cast members for ‘Fearless’ (the Jamie Vardy movie) and provide undeniable proof that footballers may well be intelligent.
This week Dave and Joe provide evidence that proves footballers may well be stupid, discuss the tidal flows from the north coast of Scotland to the western coast of Norway, and reveal that you will not find dogs operating MRI machines.
This week we stand corrected by one of our listeners on beard watch, discuss how some beer can be literally shit, and get into the mind of ex hat-trick hero Robbie Earnshaw.
This week we welcome number 1 fan Dan who gives a well organised quiz (or something), Joe reveals an amazing fact about Alan Smith (not that one), and this last sentence contains no brackets. (Or nuts). This is nuts (oh, it does).
This week Joe recants a story about vomit and Sunday supplements, Dave shows off his Rain Man-esque knowledge of shirt numbers and then discuss football rules that don’t apply.
This week Dave and Joe try to work out if an Avocado is a vegetable, discover that impersonating Gael Kakuta could end in incarceration and we find out that Gareth Macauley is Johnny Evans’ errand boy… but why?
This week Dave and Joe discuss Gavin Peacock’s christian Twitter rants, that Nemanja Vidic is 607 and ask the question: is Pinas the same as Penis?
This week Dave and Joe discuss Gianluca Vialli’s mysterious foot, the mysterious second coming of the son of (a) God, and the fairytale of Gander Green Lane and the mysterious Pie Man.
This episode includes ACTUAL facts, how Dave met two Barry’s in one day, identical twin footballers, and we ask: are men who work in garages just dirty big perverts?
This week Joe wears a sexy Christmas jumper which you can’t see, we look back at the year and discuss Leicester City winning the league (spoiler alert!) and Joe questions Dave’s knowledge of the speed of light.
This week we learn that Jonny Evans is a savvy financial advisor in his spare time, protection from seagull attacks is not funded by UK taxpayers and talk about Dion Dublin’s new musical invention.
This week we discuss what is sinister about having a number two, why Gareth Southgate would be a terrible supply teacher and discover that vegans will NOT eat money (or candles).
This week we look at the reaction to England’s mannequins, why Robert Pires never became a long jumper and find out why people in Wigan aren’t needy.
Dave and Joe discuss the Goat-man’s contribution to science, Arjan De Zeeuw’s mysterious new career and Harry Redknapp performs a dramatic reading from his new autobiography.